Mediation to Stay Married
Many challenges in a marriage are resolvable… if you both want to work towards finding a solution that addresses all concerns (no “my way or the highway” attitudes).
Let’s talk about talk
Communication is Key
Learning to effectively communicate is a challenge. Our co-mediation teams include therapists as communication experts. It is hard to talk about money and kids and fears. And it’s also necessary to make sure you are both working together for your personal and family goals.
So step 1 is to make sure your communication is where it needs to be.
Two different people with different experiences
Did you plan on having a family? Or did it just happen? Maybe a child from a prior relationship has come into your new relationship. Either way, you will likely both have very different parenting styles and may even see yourselves in different parenting roles. We work with child-specialists who can help you navigate these choppy waters to make you a successful parenting team, bringing out your strengths even when either of both of you feel week.
A shared plan to address spending and saving habits
Too many marriages end over money. That’s really not the only reason, but it is often a common complaint we hear in divorces. Different spending and saving habits can be managed if you plan for it. When needed, we bring in financial specialists to work with our client to help them plan for success in their marriage. Common concerns we see are:
- One spouse continually incurs high debts for which the other does not want to be responsible;
- One spouse has a poor credit score and you both want to purchase a house and wish to protect that asset;
- One spouse has received an inheritance and there is disagreement on how to manage it;
- One spouse wants to pay expenses (college, living, etc) or wants to purchase a home for a child from a prior relationship using community funds from the current marriage.
Handshake or binding agreements?
The Legal Side of Staying Together
Not all marital mediations require a formal legal documents. When they do, we have you covered. Depending on the circumstances, you may want to take a wait-and-see approach to decide if you need a binding and enforceable agreement. Sometimes, a memorandum of understanding and then follow through on agreed upon tasks (funding a “play account”, or working with a financial advisor) is enough. Certain circumstances may require a post-marital agreement (like a pre-nuptial but done after marriage). Our lawyer mediators will share their recommendations and you, together, make the final decisions.